I honestly think Peter Jackson is a bit of a genius for making the “hot” dwarves the ones who are gonna die at the end.
Seriously look at this smokin’ motherfucker:
You think the angle he’s holding his sword at is an accident? No way, ladies: that is a metaphor for his cock.
In case you didn’t already know that swords were metaphors for cocks (in which case, you’re welcome, and also sorry, for ruining fantasy forever).
Anyway, my prediction is that The Desolation of Smaug is gonna feature some great CGI, some awkward narrative pacing, and a lot of tween girls crying in the aisles around you. Just a heads up.
Doing drugs is like pooping: awesome, but the more people you get in a room, the less likely it is to come up. Therefore, societies will always have crime until we all stop pooping.
"But here… here’s the catch. Here’s the trick… the kick. The thing that makes it all work. Are you ready? Okay. Okay. The KICK… is that Godot NEVER ACTUALLY SHOWS UP."
— Samuel Beckett to one of his friends. Probably.
"There’s this awesome Kiss From a Rose/Batman Forever youtube video you’d like."
— Something one of my best friends just texted me. I need to re-evaluate the impression I leave on people.
This teenager just explained to me that you don’t actually have to make your bed, because it’s just gonna get messed up later. Blew my mind.
Guys, we can change the world.